It’s a choice to Love.
How long should this feeling of “When you’re too much in love to say goodnight.” last for?
Forever? Well, at least I’d want it to. I hope for it to. I long for it to.
The first time I ever wanted to love this way or chose to love this way, was when I became a mother. Where from the second her eyes shut… I was creepy mom waiting till the next encounter of our eyes meeting, her deep brown eyes would stare into mine & she still couldn’t even talk yet. No words but muffly sounds that filled my heart.
It was as though I’d fallen asleep next to my baby cub and I could hear her breath, feel her twitch, listen to her dream while she smiled in her sleep. Is it creepy that I watched so closely to every second? I thought in any moment it could be taken away. Every second felt and feels till this day so priceless, so important, so special.
When I say goodbye, I don’t want to say goodbye, when I say goodnight I don’t want to go to sleep. I want to check on her for at least another moment, maybe even wait for the 3rd time she will call out for me and need another drink of water.
Could I love another human being this much? I realized that she taught me… I could love again this much.
I later fell in love with a man that doesn’t have children. What does this mean. Does he love as much as I do? As much as I can? Or as much as I breath in a one day as my heart beats 2.5 billion beats in the rest of this life time? As I sing in my head “Anything you can do, I can do better!” Lol
Is it as much as I love? Why do I want to make the comparison? Why do I want to compete for more love? Or why do I want an answer to this question that doesn’t serve me? Is this why mothers have more children? I only have one and sometimes it feels like I may have 2 already with the man that I utterly love without words to describe him. He feeds my soul in a different way that my child can not. I guess I have described it above… as it is the same as the wonders I brought into this world only I met him in a different world. A world where we choose to love.
How deeply do you love in return?
Happy Valentine’s! 💕
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