Letting go and finding myself after all the dust settled was one of the hardest things to do. At many points in my life, life was crazy, out of control and without balance. Life didn’t throw me one hard thing daily… I believe it threw me a ton of curve balls. You can put your mind to it and knock them all out of the park, go for a hard swing, tip or strike ’em out. But, Either way I stayed in the game and didn’t give up. I have a ways to still go being this is my birthday month and I have been looking back on where I’ve been.
No matter how many times I thought of giving up. A little angel in my subconscious was telling me never to settle and to always do my best. Not listening to it was the easiest way to go. Honestly. Even when I always knew the answers were and have always been right there. The life I wanted to choose for myself was never going to be easy. Although, now the positive way I look at it when I get up everyday is that it meant it it means that I’m coming on to something great!
I live everyday wounded, I will always be broken, I will always carry a mentally ill mind for the rest of my life. It’s who I am inside. It is only how I choose to respond to it everyday and plan what is bright, and happy and I know it is where I want to be. I’m also addicted to the dopamine! And, now I’m wired to find it in life and the people around me in my community. People that know me well… know that I have big highs and big lows. BUT! Only, the Ringmaster in YOU knows. Make your own dreams. Make your own magic. And you will see…..
“The moment you feel that, just possibly you’re walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind and what exist on the inside, showing too much of yourself. THATS the moment you maybe starting to get it right.”
– Neil Gaiman, University of the Atrs commencement speech.
Don’t worry be happy. Be JenSoulHappy!
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